A Social Reflection by Marks Abaiko
Parading the streets of social media particularly Instagram avenue and rond point Facebook, my ears and eyes became accustomed to a term which is certainly new to my vocabulary.
The repetition of the term Baby Mama and Baby Dad is incessant in some blogs piloted by some social media activist’s who under the canopy of “Mummy Hide My ID”, expose some emotional and sensational stories which seems to explain the sham realities of our society.
An Anecdote of these stories with similar facts has been; A girl being impregnated and abandoned by a boy, a boy or man has abandoned a lady with whom he has children just to marry another girl. This action narrowly labels both the title Baby Dad and Baby Mama. In most cases, the so called baby dad are abroad.
After acquainting myself with some of these stories which to me were fictitious, I concerted to satisfy my informative appetite by Journeying to the Southwest Region which as highlighted by the stories is disputably the factory of Baby Mamas and Baby Dad in Cameroon.
Beginning from the city of Kumba, I met a girl, aged 21 with two little children of 4 and 5. I asked Marie, Are you married ?, She looked at me with a composure of temper and a uniform cheerfulness of manner and replied with a fat No!.
Her big No! was accompanied by the agitation that she barely feed because her baby dad has abandoned her with these two children.
Her story isn’t different from those of the other girls I encountered. The only difference is the number of children. While some are lucky to have Baby Dad from responsible families who send them small allowances, the unlucky ones hawked or engage in polished prostitution call ” Hookup or Runs”.
Though slapped with the rawness of reality, I proceeded to the city of Limbe where the Baby Mamas coloured their course with a degree of maturity, strength and sagacity. The Baby Mamas here range between the age of 22, 25 and 30. They look so responsible because many of them are working class ladies who do not even care about the existence of their Baby Dad. It safest pen that many of them have moved on with their life’s and are independently taking full responsibility of their children.
I left Limbe with a balance of emotion and navigated to Buea which is unarguably the Capital City of Baby Mamas and Baby Dad’s in Cameroon. I entered the city and made a stop at the famous environment baptized A.K.A Molyko.
It may not be kindness but it is candidness to say the narrative here is catastrophic and horrific with little children littered on the street causing nothing but traffic.
Majority of the Baby Mamas here are children of age 16, 17, 18 and 20 who are either still in the process of obtaining a certificate or graduates who are doing nothing. They are either surviving from the pitas of their poor parents or they engage in full time advance prostitution ” Hookup/ Runs”.
What can convince me that Buea is the capital of Baby Mamas, is the fact that many of the baby Mamas here have children with different Baby Dad’s. This is the case of Bonita age 20, who has 3 children with 3 different Baby Dad’s.
She pride herself to say she doesn’t make children with any type of boys, that all her babies dad’s are abroad. I asked if she hopes any of them will come back and Mary her ? Her blatant response is ; two of them are already married, and Boris( the third) doesn’t have my time again. The good thing is that; they are sending me money to take care of their children.
Finally, I questioned 10 girls with children and 8 of them are Baby Mamas while the remaining 2 are married. This confirms the fact that the term Baby Mama and Baby Dad is increasingly Replacing the appellation of Husband and Wife.
This disturbing information, pushed me to ruminate as to what could be the cause of this sudden change of title ?
What I got from experience and research is ; (1) Poverty, (2) Lack of Proper home training, (3) peers influence, and (4) Bad Influence from Some Social media Influencers