By Comfort Mussa
Although advocates for women’s rights in Cameroon encourage rape victims to speak out, socio economic realities on the ground still makes it difficult for victims to seek for justice.
I came face to face with this reality as we tried to help a close friend who had been raped. As expected, she was traumatized following the incident. I held her as she narrated her ordeal. I could hear the pain in her voice as I held her close. I let her cry her heart out. Because the perpetrators did not use a condom, we needed to rush her to hospital for a medical check up
We made contacts with some private clinics and were referred to the government hospital. We were told that in case of accidental exposure to HIV and other STIs it was best for us to go to a government hospital. When we arrived the hospital routine consultations had ended and we went straight to the emergency department. There were four other people there but as far as the victim was concerned, four people is a crowd if you need to talk about something as personal as a rape
I stood there waiting for the other people in the room to leave so we could be alone with the nurse. We had no idea who the others were because they had no identification batches or any uniform unlike the nurse in attendance.
The male nurse could not have been more nonchalant. He was chewing some roast corn, taking generous bites off the maize cob and speaking to us while he ate.
Nurse: “Yes what do you want? Do you have an emergency?”
Me: “Yes, we do”
Nurse:”who has a problem .You or the girl. What’s the emergency? Is she pregnant and bleeding?”
Me: “No she is not pregnant and bleeding” I was beginning to get annoyed, is that the only kind of case that qualifies as an emergency here. I wondered.
I leaned close to his table and whispered “My friend says she was raped this afternoon”
Nurse:”Ok, that’s not an emergency. You people should just take a seat outside and wait”. I went out with my friend, and came back and stood at the door. As far as I was concerned, this was more than an emergency!
A couple of minutes later, the nurse asked us to come back. We sat down and he took about 15 – 20 minutes to clear his desk, before attending to us. The door was left open and people kept moving in and out, some interrupting the consultation as he tried to get the facts of her story.
He asked for details of the rape..Before my friend could even say two sentences, he was like. how could you even do that ……… How could you this, how could this have happened?
Blame Game
I just could not believe my ears. How could he be blaming the victim at this point? Victims often blame themselves and when they seek medical help, should not be under more pressure. They need love and assurances and not more blame for an incident they did not want. That is why some people will suffer in silence instead of reporting they had been raped.
This reminds me of an interview I once had with a lawyer on the subject of rape. He told me in no uncertain terms that women most often were responsible for being raped and remember this was from a supposedly “learnt” lawyer. The lawyer said the way some women dressed exposing “enticing” body parts was an invitation for rape.
I personally think that a woman cannot invite rape on herself. It doesn’t matter if she wears a bikini or a burka! It does not matter if she visits you at your place or accept you pay her a visit in her house. It does not matter if she is 17 or 70; it does not matter if she allows you to kiss her at first. It does not matter if she is your girlfriend or a stranger. When/if a woman says NO, it means no. NO Means NO.
Money matters
Back to my raped friend. When we finally met the doctor, he was much nicer. He didn’t blame her. He did his checks, offered counsel, recommended some lap tests and then prescribed some medication. The consultation and tests cost about 5000FCFA. A medical certificate (required to file police report and set a case in motion) we were told will cost about 7.000FCFA.
My younger friend did not have the 12000Frs needed to do the test and file a complaint. She was at the point of giving up on the process. I can only imagine how many other women give up at this point.
When we eventually went over to the lab, the technician was visibly tired. As she took blood samples and vaginal smear for the test, she murmured about how tired and hungry she was. The danger of a tired nurse and the ratio of patients to medical personnel in Cameroon is a topic for another day.
Well, we got through with the lab tests and hospital checks. She was prescribed some medications. The following day she reported the case to the police.
Reporting rape
Twice during the process, she wanted to give up. The attitude of the male nurse and the related costs roadblocks that could deter her. Thank God she did not. It also helped that she was not alone through it all.
How affordable are the medical certificates needed to establish/file a complaint with the police? How receptive are hospital staff when dealing with survivors of rape? These socio-economic factors must be considered when urging women to report rape or speak out against it.
However, no matter the cost, silence is even more costly.
Stories about rape and violence against women must be told because telling them helps others and liberates us all.
Can we talk? Emails :mcomfortccms@gmail.com
Website: www.sisterspeak237.com